12:58 a.m. November 08, 2008
This past few days... it seems like I can't decide whether I’m happy or not, sad or not... whenever i convince myself that I’m happy, there's this deep hole inside my mind and heart that keeps telling me that something is wrong. No. 'Wrong' is not the exact word but something is 'missing'. It felt like I’m walking in an empty road with so many confusing paths to choose. Not only the road is empty... but also my heart and mind... I want to know what's wrong or missing within me. But I guess it's really hard to get the answer to the things that are tightly kept deep inside your soul.
1:01 a.m. November 08, 2008
I don't know if I’m going to believe what people say to me, I’m not sure if I should trust them or not. Honestly, I don't know who will I to believe anymore... things around me is getting complicated everyday... I thought it's getting better, but the more I seek deep, the more I fall deep in a deep black hole that no one will never grab a hold of me to get me back again..
1:09 a.m. November 08, 2008
It feels like I’m always tired of something... I can't keep up, no matter how i tried to. I keep on holding on something that's invisible and impossible for me to reach and to keep... I really don't know what I really want now. Whenever I lay on my bed and closed my eyes, so many things that keeps on flashing on my mind in a blurry way... I can't understand it, and I can no longer bare it anymore, I want scream. I want to scream hard for help... I tried to. But I failed... I think I’ve lost myself deep in that black hole that keeps holding me to not to live anymore.
End: 1: 12 a.m. November 08, 2008
Note... i don't know if this is me.. lol! i got this feeling that someone is using me..lmao! XD~~~
